My incredible boy is about 4 years old now. In his 18th month he was formally diagnosed as moderately to severely autistic by Child Development Units of many renowned hospitals and clinics across the globe. I say many hospitals because for about 6 months (till he turned 2) i was in a completely denial mode and wanted to double check (multi check) with as many professionals as possible as i could not believe that my kid was autistic though it was so obvious based on all the symptoms listed in typical checklists like appears indifferent to the surrounding and is content to be alone, does not turn when called but hearing is normal as per audiology reports, does not speak / communicate to express needs as basic as hunger, thirst etc, does not point to objects of interest, abnormal reaction to sensory stimuli like whistles of a rice cooker/vacuum cleaner, throws temper tantrums for unknown reasons, repetitive behavior like running back and forth along the walls, lying down and playing with cars for hours together,spinning in circles, running around sofas in circles, inappropriate attachment to objects like alphabets, blocks etc. As a parent I had many dreams about my boy and the diagnosis shattered everyone of them and I could not digest this fact.
On one side my intellectual mind was sticking to facts (medical prognosis and research data) but on other side my emotional heart was going behind solaces like may be he is just a late-bloomer as some grandmother told me that his son spoke only when he was 5 years old, may be my son is very clam by personality, may be like a few doctors and professionals say it is very normal for kids to be different and they will pick up as they grow etc. From my end i was going through roller coaster of emotions trying to balance between earning a living and bringing up a special child. The throbbing pain at heart and tears in eyes became a permanent part of me. All said and done, after a point it felt there was no point in researching Internet, reading books and thinking endlessly. Objectively what has to be done as a next step? This question, along with unconditional love for the child, kept me moving tirelessly to a point where I saw bright lights at the end of tunnels.
At the moment, Vidhur is 99% out of the Autism Spectrum through selfless dedication and tireless hard work of the family and his paediatrician Dr.Lakshmi Prasanna. Even that 1% is just my benefit of doubt as i have been through the journey which has some permanent imprints in me. Others who see Vidhur only now cannot even guess that he had some serious disability before but for sure they are able to figure out that he has some serious abilities like passion for maths, ability to read, profound memory, his silly but cute song compositions etc :). Other than family, it is important for me to mention about Dr.Lakshmi Prasanna. Without her this blog and our life will be empty. I need to dedicate a separate section in the upcoming blogs to talk about her and her work in Autism awareness and healing special needs.Vidhur goes to a normal kindergarten now. The work from our end still continues objectively without getting lost in subjectivity :)
I wanted to share what i have been through (thoughts, emotions, feelings, trials and errors and approaches) through this blog so that this sharing heals my aching heart and on the way it helps a few more special parents like me.
